you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
