At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
