I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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