Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
