yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
