We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize