then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
