I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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