I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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