We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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