I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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