Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
