i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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