But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
