Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize