I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize