let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
