I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
