I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize