is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
