dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
