i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
