I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
