That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
