You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
