Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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