**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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