It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
