she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
