we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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