Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
