I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The Olympian is in my bed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
