Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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