Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize