As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
