I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
