im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
