he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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