I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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