yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
