so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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