Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize