I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
