Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
