i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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