Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize