Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
