I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
