So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
