If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
