no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
