i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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