Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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