I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
