She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize