PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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